6:44 p.m. So the engagement was this weekend and we had a little issue. A family squabble broke out and got completely and utterly out of hand between my uncles. My cousins were upset and crying, my brother was upset, his fiancee, there were obscenities and violence going around… it was horrible. Needless to say, I spent most of the entire evening in tears and everyone knows that once I start I can’t stop. I can’t help it that I’m sensitive and get emotional!! It had started as such a good night though. My aunt came and brought my two little cousins, one of which is my goddaughter. I was beyond excited. Their mother is Emmanuels sister. She was entirely friendly and everything. She sat with us and we joked and laughed and it was a good time. She was using Emmanuels camera to take pictures and kept snapping pics of me… how wierd is it that Emmanuel now has a camera with a bunch of pics of me on it. THEN, last night the weirdest of things happened… My brother and uncle went to drop off the kids at his mother in laws and they all congratulated him on his engagement. But that’s fine. It happens that Emmanuel’s aunt was there and everyone knows that her and her family are not on speaking terms except with my one brother and my dad but she congratulated my brother and then asked him if he knew he shared the same blood? Well, first of all she never acknowledged his presence so why the sudden interest. Second, if she knew we shared the same blood she sure didn’t show it and third, why the sudden interest?!?! Then today hee daughter who NEVER accepts his Facebook friend request suddenly liked his status… so I am suddenly a little curious…. I wonder why? And does it have something to do with Emmanuel and myself? I hope they want to be friendly because soon our families will have to be… please that be so. But, I feel it!
I never would have thought that journaling/blogging woild be “my thing” but lately I have found that I absolutely LOVE it!! It is important for those of us with royal blood to leave a record of our musings for the common folk who will never know the splendor of our lives and for the historian whose life is dedicated to the proclamation of our greatness… But what it comes down to is this:
You want to be me
You can’t be me
You’ll never be me
So get over it.
12:08 p.m. I have found myself feeling extremely happy lately. Very upbeat; quite hopeful… despite the fact that I failed a test in school. And it all boils down to one name… Emmanuel. Always quite conscious of him… I feel like I am close! Close to being with him. In the past any crush I’ve ever held has felt unattainable. Out of reach and drifting away. But not this time, oh no, this time it feels different. I have recently been informed that my cousin is interested in him… As her 1st choice. I’ve also recently acquired the knowledge of another cousin being interested in him… As her 1st choice. God only knows how many more are interested. And then there’s moi. Interested in him as well… interested in him since I can remember. Somehow I feel that I am the one. It’s not out of conceit, pompousness, or a delusion of grandeur… it is how I feel. I feel it in my bones!! I am also a firm believer in self - fulfilling prophecy. I am sending positive vibes and energy out into the world and will in turn receive positivity in my life. I have no doubts. I read my horoscope out of curiosity and today it confirmed my beliefs. My beliefs that I have mentioned and shared. I am so happy. Usually I would worry myself with doubt, negativity, and worries but I will not burden my mind with these things. I will continue to be positive and wait patiently…
7:04 p.m. It’s been a while since I’ve written but today I’m writing because I received horrid, vile news!! I heard that Stacie a friend of mine is seeking out Emmanuel. She wants to marry him! Her parents want someone else but she us adamant that she wants Emmanuel. They are actually going to ask!! I am horribly disgusted and sickened with fear! I justcannot have this. I try to maintain a passive and unperturbed countenance yet my insides and my mind are writhing and squirming in anguish! It’s extremely difficult to fathom that I am so close to losing him forever. If he says yes to her then my life is over. Then it’s game over, then I’ve lost, then I have to face them together. Just the thought alone is enough to make me violently ill! Everyone is trying to reassure me that it has no chance in happening but I am not going to doubt it not happening nor am I going to assume it will happen. I will sit back and pray to God that Emmanuel and I be together and that’s as much as I can do.
I read somewhere that a woman can have clothes but it doesn’t mean she has style. That couldn’t be more true and have therefore, found myself thinking in this notion more and more lately. I love magazines! I love Vogue, of course and, Elle, Harpers Bazaar, and Town and Country. For more wearable pieces I like In style. I look to actresses such as Audrey Hepburn and Jackie O. for inspiration. I know that I tend to lean towards a classic look but I also like to incorporate a little bohemian touch, a high fashion aesthetic, and sometimes a minimalist style, as well. Overall, I have an eclectic taste because my style changes all the time depending on a certain city I’m obsessed with at the mo, like London, or a certain show I’m watching, SATC, a certain celebrity I like, Blake Lively and Victoria Baker Harber, or a certain book I’m reading, Devil wears Prada. I tend to get obsessed with things easily. I dive headfirst and try to emulate that style but in the end I end up working it completely into my existing wardrobe for a look that is completely unique to me.
5:34 p.m. I love old, classic films especially abything with Audrey Hepburn or Grace Kelly. Because, I am Grace Kelly and Grace Kelly is me. I also can’t help but get swept away by the absolutely handsome male protagonists. I especially LOVE Cary Grant. Nothing, unusual about that is there. He was the most eligible bachelor the most coveted man of his age. He has just transcended time and I love him too. But, what about Gregory Peck? They are all so debonair. Gregory Peck was so romantic and sweet in Roman Holiday. I wish I was as fortunate as the girls in these movies to ne swept away by so worthy a soul mate.
Shirt: The Wrights orange lion head knit sweater
Pants: Joes jeans dark wash skinnys cuffed
Shoes: Kate Spade black jewel toe flats
Bag: Fendi chef zucca
Jewelry: Tiffany necklace, Roatary watch, Bvlgari bracelet, John Hardy ring, vintage ring
Shirt: Haute Hippie gray jeweled tee
Jeans: Dolce & Gabbana white button and zipper detail skinny jeans
Belt: Dolce & Gabbana
Shoes: Toms blue velvet with skull head Limited Edition from Neimans
Sunglasses: Gucci butterfly
Watch: Cartier Santos
Sweater: White open knit Michael Kors w/ white camisole
Pants: True Religion destroyed boyfriend jean
Shoes: Kate Spade neon pink flats
Bag: Fendi chef zucca bag
Jewelry: Spartina gold necklace worn as bracelet and gold ring
In honor of Mercedes Benz Fashion Week classics with a twist!
Juxtaposing Judith Ripka ring, Bulgari leather bangle, super faded Siwy jeans, Cole Haan loafers, and oxblood nails